To Iquitos, with love

Then Monday morning happened. We woke up to the news that Iquitos was on total lock-down. Airports, seaways, and roads were all shut down. We were not allowed to leave. No one could get in. No one could go out. We watched as all flights got canceled domestically and internationally. We were stuck, and no one knew for how long.

Who am I?

My story is marred with trauma, with pain, with tears. Having been sexually assaulted by multiple men and verbally assaulted in many ways, I did not want to accept those parts of my story. I wanted to believe that those experiences happened to someone else, a different me. I never wanted to associate that person with the person I thought I needed to be. I did not want to be a victim. I was terrified. But, who am I without my experiences?

Which R?

Each action a blow to His body.
Each choice a slap to His face.
With blood-stained face, and tattered flesh.
With all the strength His soul had to give.
He chose me as His and fully paid the price.

Motive

What is my motive for that which I say I believe?
What is my motive for following Him?
What is my motive for all that I do “for Him”?
Do I even know ‘what I believe and why I believe it’?

Stumble & Fall

I stumble. I fall. I bruise myself, and sometimes I bleed.
I stumble, I fall. I battle mind against Spirit, body against heart.
I stumble, I fall. It all seems too much, what would it mean to give up?
I stumble, I fall. Over and over it seems.