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Who am I?

My story is marred with trauma, with pain, with tears. Having been sexually assaulted by multiple men and verbally assaulted in many ways, I did not want to accept those parts of my story. I wanted to believe that those experiences happened to someone else, a different me. I never wanted to associate that person with the person I thought I needed to be. I did not want to be a victim. I was terrified. But, who am I without my experiences?

Motive

What is my motive for that which I say I believe?
What is my motive for following Him?
What is my motive for all that I do “for Him”?
Do I even know ‘what I believe and why I believe it’?

Stumble & Fall

I stumble. I fall. I bruise myself, and sometimes I bleed.
I stumble, I fall. I battle mind against Spirit, body against heart.
I stumble, I fall. It all seems too much, what would it mean to give up?
I stumble, I fall. Over and over it seems.

Running

Running used to be a method by which I cleared my mind. The pain gave me something concrete to focus on. When the pain was not enough to drown out the thoughts anymore, when I could not outrun myself, I stopped. 

BLACK

Our stories are unique in their similarities, different in their commonalities, and heartbreaking in the reality of this modern world.

This is the call to action, a BATTLE CRY that rings out, that will mark this generation. Will you heed the call?

‘While I Wait…’

“The Waiting Place for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go, or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting”

My First Winter

I thought that this was a curse I would have to learn to live with for the rest of my life. So, I began to deal. I learned how to live life with the emptiness, the brokenness, the pain. I learned how to smile even when everything inside of me was weeping. There was no light at the end of this never-ending tunnel.