Our stories are unique in their similarities, different in their commonalities, and heartbreaking in the reality of this modern world. This is the call to action, a BATTLE CRY that rings out, that will mark this generation. Will you heed the call?
"The Waiting Place for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go, or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting"
I thought that this was a curse I would have to learn to live with for the rest of my life. So, I began to deal. I learned how to live life with the emptiness, the brokenness, the pain. I learned how to smile even when everything inside of me was weeping. I learned how to show the emotions that people wanted to see, needed to see, in order for them to be okay. I learned how to put on a facade so that I would fit in to what the world told me was acceptable. I learned how to say okay, show okay, live okay when everything inside me was bleeding out. Oh the insides. Inside were fragments and pieces of self that I did not even know how to put together. Inside were broken shards of a whole that were begging for restoration. Inside was a sad girl who could not find her way home, and even if she could, didn't know what home was anymore. Inside was hell, and all that I thought would save me, only pushed me down deeper. I was numb from the inside out, and I did not even know it... A year after January 10, almost like clockwork, the voice began to haunt me. I began to dread New Year' eve (my birthday), and the New Year... There was no light at the end of this never-ending tunnel.
The steering jerked to the right - towards the 18-wheeler. I watched in complete silence as the car spun towards the back end of the truck. I was so sure that we were going to SMASH into the back of the truck. And just as though we were in one of those Fast & Furious movies, the front end of the car glided right behind the back end of the truck, across 2 lanes. Ok, so we missed the truck, for sure we were ending up in the ditch. Wait, what were my hands doing? How were my hands moving? Apparently, I had been counter-steering - without realizing. The car began to spin the other way, across 3 lanes. Towards the concrete barriers at the median. At that point, either the concrete barriers would stop us or cars would smash into us from behind. It was a literal 'Jesus take the wheel' moment.
Nothing changes Yet nothing remains the same Each sway simple But its purpose unique The momentum, always timely
I would not think of the things that I own, nor of the things that I wished I could have. I would not think of the career I was able to attain, nor of the amount of money in my account. Instead, I would think of opportunities. Opportunities taken, opportunities missed. Opportunities to laugh, opportunities... Continue Reading →
Dear Lord, I go back and forth in my mind about the many reasons why none of this makes sense. The truth is that I know that I may be holding on to the ideas of what was, but that does not seem to be enough to deter me. Why? I am definitely not like... Continue Reading →