If I could be Jealous

If I could be jealous of anything in this life, I would be jealous of those who came to God (through Christ) early.

The pain, loss, misunderstandings, heartbreaks, and wasted time that I could have avoided. All the wasted efforts and trivial pursuits that could have been avoided. Oh boy. I would not be jealous in the sense of malicious thinking, or harboring disdain for anyone. I do not covet what they have, I simply wish that I too had begun this journey early. I was so strong headed, strong willed, and naive enough to think that I could figure it all out on my own. I figured that if nothing else, I could accept Christ on my deathbed, and I would not have missed out on life and living. I mean, once you accept Christ, you get to heaven anyway. Oh boy, was I wrong.

As I read a book by one of my mentor’s from afar, wherein he chronicled his experience of giving his life to Christ at the age of 6, at first, I was skeptical. What 6 year old makes such a decision and sticks to it? At 6 years old, I was still busy being upset over the fact that my parents decided to bring another child into our home, and stole my “baby” status away from me. I was still trying to figure out where in the world I fit in, and how to navigate my ever so wonderfully complicated culture. At 6, I knew of God, but I could not say that I knew God. Making a decision about getting to know God and sustaining a relationship with Him was nowhere near my thinking. Don’t get me wrong, I “gave my life” to Christ many times – as early as 5 if I remember correctly – but I said the prayers and forgot about it. Nothing else came of it at that time.

However, there is truly a difference between knowing of God, and knowing God.

A difference between being familiar with Him, and just acknowledging Him. A difference between knowing the way that He speaks to you personally, calls you individually, leads you purposefully, fellowships with you, and teaches you directly; and just going with the flow of what everyone else does. There is a level you get to in your relationship with God where you know that the way He instructs you, directs you, corrects you, and rebukes you, is not just a general -one size fits all- style, but instead, is unique to you, and your relationship with Him.

At 6, I cannot say that I had the understanding or relationship with God that my mentor described. I cannot even say that I had this relationship with God at the age of 16. But, I thank God that I can say that I do have this relationship with Him today. I can proudly say that I have had this relationship with God for some time, and will do all that is required of me to ensure that I do not lose the blissful experience of this relationship. Knowing God is truly  critical because, not knowing Him leads to uncertainty, confusion, and drowning (I’ll write about Peter in Matthew 14:22-23 soon).

Knowing God early, how sweet that is. How much sweeter would it be to come early into the embrace of the One who says “I have inscribed you in the palms of my hands, your walls are continually before me… I will never leave nor forsake you” (Isaiah 49:16).

If I had it within me to be jealous, the only thing that I would be jealous of in this world is that I had wasted so much time outside of God, and I had missed out on knowing Him and being with Him early. However, I am grateful because I now know Him. I am in Christ, saved by grace, loved unconditionally, surrounded by mercy. I am also grateful because I know that being in Christ grants me to grace to know my purpose and walk in it for the rest of my life. All the time that I thought had been wasted. all the efforts I thought was for not, He is able to transform them into new opportunities and stepping stones unto greater achievements to the glory of His name.

In Christ, all things are made new. He makes up for lost time. He resets the seasons as they should be in your life. It is now up to you to make the time count, and to focus on enjoying all that His presence has to offer.

I wanna be so in love with You to the point of no return



Bible Hub. Online Bible Study Suite, 2004-2016, biblehub.com.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. Crossway Bibles, 2001.


One response to “If I could be Jealous”

  1. God’s arm is always opened to embrace anyone who comes to him. The story of the hired labourers tells it all. There is no need to be jealous of anyone as no one is exactly like you in the agenda and plan of God for you.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: