Which R?

Remorse. Repentance. What do these mean to me?
Are these the same or do they stand different?
I sin. There is no doubt about that.
Do I keep sinning because I do not bear the full weight of the consequences?
How would I be more mindful if I had to bear the full weight?
Remorse. Repentance.
Do I actually repent or am I just remorseful?

Recognition of sin looks to change, while remorse just feels bad (guilt, shame).
“For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted…”
Do I understand the weight of each sin?
Each action a blow to His body.
Each choice a slap to His face.
I may as well have nailed His hands and His feet,
For each sin is a confirmation that I am unworthy.

Yet, He did it anyway.
With blood-stained face, and tattered flesh.
With all the strength His soul had to give.
He chose me as His and fully paid the price.
He calls me His when I am still far off.
He carries the full weight of my consequences.
With hope. With love unconditional. He covers my sins.

If He was willing to go to this extreme for me,
How far am I willing to go to be better for Him?
I must understand what it means to repent.
For anything less is to spit in the face of the greatest love of all.

Remorse is feeling bad for all I have done.
Repentance is no longer doing that which is sin.
I must examine myself and see if I have forgotten how to repent.
For remorse is not the R in which I want to live.

References
Chambers, Oswald. (2017). Repentance. My Utmost For His Highest. Discovery House from Our Daily Bread Ministries. Oswald Chambers Publications Association, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

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