“I will give thanks to you Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all of your wonderful deeds.” [Psalm 9:1].
This was a year end reflection letter written in 2014. A thank you letter more than anything else. It is now years later, and this letter still resonates. More so now than it did then.
“His mercies endures forever, and are new every morning”
This year has been a year of the unexpected. Where do I even begin?
It feels like it has been more than a year, yet the year is not even near its end. Each day unpredictable, yet revealing so much to be grateful for.
I thank You for the heart breaks and the heart aches, because in them, You showed me that I could never shatter beyond Your repair.
I thank You for the disappointments and seeming closed doors, because in them, You showed me that You are always working for me behind the scene, crafting opportunities according to Your perfect will.
I thank You for the sad times, the down times. The times I cried myself to sleep. The times when I wept silently, internally. Because in them, You showed me that it is only in Your joy that I find my strength, and Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.
I thank You for the times I feel lonely, because in those moments, You show me that you are always, always, there with me, fulfilling Your promise to never leave me nor forsake me.
You have helped me to understand that though I may feel lonely, I am never alone. You are always close by me, closer than the very air I breathe.
I thank You for Your love, because in it, I learned two important things:
1) You are the definition of love – daily, unconditional (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
2) You love me just as I am, ‘Flaws and all’
There is no need for perfection, to be loved by You. Instead, You just want to transform me from the inside out. You want to lavish Your love on me, and fill my imperfections. Till all I see is You, till all I see is LOVE.
From this place of love, You demand that I leave all of my burdens, my cares, my fears, my sorrows, my worries, my sadness, my pain – all of it – at Your feet. From this place of love, You ask that I accept this gift from You; Peace. I am short of words, so I just say thank You.
I thank You for my times of need, because in them, You showed me that my needs can never exhaust Your supply. You have helped me to understand that when You say a thing, You stand by it until it is accomplished. You never go back on Your word.
I thank You for my family and friends, because You know that it is not pleasant for anyone to be alone. I thank You because through them, You help me to understand how to be a better me; to live in love – even when it is not convenient or appealing to me.
I especially thank You for my enemies, because You taught me how to love them (though hard), which shapes the person I am today. Loving them has made me a better person, for Your glory.
I thank You for the snow, the rain, the sun, the heat, the moon, and even the stars; because these elements, as they change, help me to better understand that nothing (not even my problems) last forever. Everything has its season and will change in time.
I thank You for experiences that I have been privileged to take on, because in them, I know You are preparing me for wherever it is You are leading me. I thank You for each day, for they are new opportunities to learn and to grow.
I thank You because I am not where I want to be, but You have guided me to where I need to be, which is far from where I was.
You continue to preserve my life and uphold me in Your care. For these and many more, words cannot express my gratitude. I am alive, I am well. I can see, eat, drink, talk, sit, stand, lie down, kneel, walk, jump, roll, bend, taste, touch, breathe. My organs function properly, food digests, heart pumps blood, muscles move, tendons, ligaments, tissues, bones, even fats all work in unison as they should. I do not list these to boast, but instead to say thank You. There are many that are not alive to experience these, and many who are alive but do not experience these. It is not because I am special or of more worth, No. Instead, You are teaching me never to take anything for granted. For You have created everyone fearfully and wonderfully, and have crafted us all for Your glory.
I wish I had another way to say thank You, for this that you did even before I was created. You sent Your one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to take my place, to pay for my sins. Thank You for opening the way for me to get back to You, to Your heart. I thank You for never giving up on pursuing me; because if I am being honest, I tried to run away from You and do my own thing many times. Yet, You never gave up. You chose me. You choose me still.
If I counted all the grains of sand by the water side, all the stars in the sky in the deep of night, and every drop of water in the vast oceans; they will not be enough to express how grateful I am for all that You are to me.
The peace, the joy, the calm amidst frustrating situations, the love that envelopes me, and the grace that You have given to me is much more than any physical blessing I could ask for, think of, or imagine.
For this, Saviour, Lord, Friend; I say, Thank You.